Evasive maneuvers! Dodge this DS bomb at any cost.

Game reviewers dream of a title like B-17 Fortress in the Sky. Not because it's rewarding, fun to play, or something new (it's none of these things), but because the title's mediocrity is so easily reflected by its punnable namesake.

Make no mistake -- B-17 is a bomb, a dud, a bust, a crippled bird that you'll wish had crash-landed onto someone else's hapless DS if you make purchase. Even at $20, the game's content sums to three aviation-oriented mini-games bundled together: one of which is uninventive and tedious, another that's simple and short, and the third of which (the bombing) is uninteresting and unappealing. All of 'em are repetitive, and you'll be searching for a parachute to escape the bland, poorly coded play.

One of the legendary aircraft from the war, the 18-ton B-17 allegedly carried 10 crewsmen -- engineers, radio operators, co-pilots and bombardiers. In FitS, aside from squawks over the radio to warn you of approaching enemies, it's a one-man show: you play pilot, gunner, and bomb-dropper to the titular WWII craft across 25 missions, wondering along the way what in the world your comrades are occupying themselves with while Nazi fighters are ventilating your bird. But hey, maybe they'd just rather not involve themselves in the apparent boredom that aerial war entails: piloting consists of hitting left and right on the d-pad for 15 seconds to dodge smoky anti-aircraft fire, gunnery of switching between batteries to fend off enemy planes. And the bombing? A matter of lowering a crosshair over some muddy art of buildings and boats and tapping the A button. Pre-kindergarten educational games offer more complexity, to be honest.

The nearly identical design of each mission might be a tad forgivable if what you were doing was actually engaging, but after take off, the battles themselves flow in this sequence:

1) Defend your bomber from oncoming enemy fighters
2) Avoid aforementioned clouds of AAA
3) Defend your bomber from oncoming enemy fighters, again
4) Bomb a few targets
5) Defend your bomber from oncoming enemy fighters, once more

The DS can look way better than this.

B-17's lengthiest section, the gunnery, is the least unexciting but also the most flawed...which is sort of like capturing first place in a beauty contest against Woody Allen and Howard Stern. Here, you'll man turret positions like ball turret, right waist, and tail gunner (a total of eight) within the plane, switching between them with the shoulder buttons. Your cowardly co-pilots call out phrases like "Jerry at three o'clock!" or "Bandits, coming in fast!" to warn of incoming squadrons, after which you'll scout through windows to spot bogeys. It sounds simple enough, but two major issues (among many other minor ones) dampen any playability.